Honey: (knocking on the door) Hello? Are you in there? Hey Conscience! Listen, I was just wondering – Conscience: (in a high-pitched sing-songy voice) Nobody home! Honey: (annoyed) You’re clearly home, I just […]
Because boobs.
Love and Marriage in the New Millennium
My definition of love and marriage: A sacred permanent covenant made between three parties: me, you, and God. Creates a bond so strong that it cannot be broken unless the biblical grounds […]
Not even clothes.
Some very insane and blog-worthy things have happened in the past couple of months, but I’ve reached a level in dealing with this garbage I like to call ‘level ostrich’. I bury […]
Rise.
Fall. Fall hard on my knees. Tears and screaming and pointless pleas. Though the world collapses in on me, there’s somewhere else I need to be. Diapers and tears and endless […]
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
I’ve known for some time that I should see a counselor. I’m not equipped to handle the ‘skein of fuckedupedness’ that I unwittingly attempt to untangle every day (shout out to the AMAZING Chump Lady). I feel like a grade school teacher trying to land a 747. So, I began therapy last week. The therapist didn’t know quite […]
Thank heaven for crappy lawyers!
Honey filed a custody case against me in September. You can read about it here. It was finally heard last week. Why the long wait? Because Honey hired, in my opinion, one […]
The F Word.
Forgiveness, to me, is a four letter word. For the last 2 1/2 years, I’ve been referring to it as the F word, incapable of forming the actual sounds and syllables with my mouth […]
Second Chances.
Where crappy Lifetime movies are suddenly preferable to the alternative…
The A-Sexual A-Team
I have a solution to our problem. I’m going to kill you.
Cemetery Plots, Half-Off!
So, I recently learned that H-Dub’s mother got some new stickers for her truck. You know those stick figure family ones? Well these were just like those, but they were ‘Grandma’s Angels’. Wait, I’m sorry. ‘Grandma’s. Angels’. […]
